The Pursuit of Excellence
Lifelong learning. Physical and mental fitness. Honesty, integrity, and compassion.
If these ideas get your motor running, chances are you're familiar with the pursuit of excellence.
The pursuit is a challenging one. Excellence asks that you sacrifice--by waking up earlier, studying longer, and training harder. It asks that you plumb the depths of your soul to battle your most vicious demons. And it asks you to hold yourself to a higher moral code than those around you, even when it may cost your life.
But the reward is nothing less than becoming your best self.
To the ancient Greeks, there was no higher aim. They called this special type of excellence areté. The concept is beautifully captured in one of my favourite novels, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance:
"The hero of the Odyssey is a great fighter, a wily schemer, a ready speaker, a man of stout heart and broad wisdom who knows that he must endure without too much complaining what the gods send; and he can both build and sail a boat, drive a furrow as straight as anyone, beat a young braggart at throwing the discus, challenge the Pheacian youth at boxing, wrestling or running; flay, skin, cut up and cook an ox, and be moved to tears by a song. He is in fact an excellent all-rounder; he has surpassing areté."
Areté is seen in men and women of great accomplishment, like Aristotle and Leonardo Da Vinci. But you don't need to be a Renaissance Man to know areté.
"A man can do all things if he will."
- Leon Battista Alberti (1404-1472)
All you need is to cultivate a sense of duty. Not to others, but to yourself. You must believe with burning passion in the value of excellence and work relentlessly to become the man or woman you know you can be.
If the pursuit requires such hard work, why bother? Isn't it better to relax and enjoy life? Watch some TV? Take the day off?
Maybe. That's a choice we're all free to make for ourselves. But in the pursuit of excellence you will find much greater rewards, like happiness, fulfillment, and peace.
And there is something greater than personal fulfillment at stake. The world suffers from an excellence deficit. Greed and incompetence has led the global economy into turmoil. Ignorance and fear still divide our human family. Building a better society requires that a critical mass of men and women decide to become their best selves. It's worth fighting for.
"The place to improve the world is first in one’s own heart and head and hands, and then work outward from there."
- Robert Persig
The altruistic argument will not appeal to everyone, and that's ok. We're all walking various paths at times in our lives, and no matter where they lead, we learn something valuable along the way. If you are ready, please join me; the world needs you.
But no matter where you are don't forget to enjoy this beautiful life however you can.
Are your thoughts holding you back?
Believed cancer could not stop him
If my mind was a person, we probably wouldn't be friends. Over the years it's told me I will never be wealthy, or happy. That I can't quit smoking, or find a better job. It's told me to give up on my dreams because they're too big, and it's told me to feel sorry for myself when I face challenges.
Because I trusted my mind, I believed everything it told me. That was a mistake.
From childhood we all collect beliefs about the world, ones that either serve us or hurt us. These beliefs literally create our reality, and can be especially dangerous when we are unaware of their effect on us.
Limiting beliefs keep us from our greatness
But I have good news: once you see them, you can pull them out by the roots.
Beat serious limiting beliefs
When I was younger I had a terrible fear of speaking to new people. My limiting belief was that I'd say something stupid, and be harshly judged for it. Eventually I became so fed up with how it affected my life that I forced new operating instructions into my mind: that what I have to say is important, and that if other people don't like it, that's their problem.
I pushed myself to talk and it worked out great! I no longer have trouble speaking to new people. In fact, I've noticed how many other people have a hard time speaking to me as a stranger, and because of my past experience I can empathize with them and help them open up.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” - Henry Ford
Your mind is only a tool that can be used to help or hurt; it is not in charge. 'You' are in charge. Your being, your soul is in charge. If you want something from life, don't let limiting beliefs block you from getting it. You can turn your mind into a friend, but you have to give it clear expectations.
Now go out and get what you want.
Act Like Your Heroes
I have vivid memories of a certain day in 2004 because late August gave us stereotypical barbecue weather. The breeze on my skin was a perfect balance to the scorching sun. The farmhouse looked so nostalgic against the wide sky.
I'm sure the man who spoke to the crowd has no idea that he changed the course of my life that day. All he did was speak eloquently and from the heart about acting with integrity, especially when it's easier not to. But when he was done, I decided that my future was in politics, and I spent five years working for him. Ontario's Premier, Dalton McGuinty, remains one of my heroes.
Heroes have been an important influence through my life.
Heroes serve as models for action, and sources of inspiration.
When I'm faced with a tough decision, I look for answers in their experiences. When I lose my drive, I can turn to their stories to reignite my fire.
I don't believe in worshipping heroes, no matter how swell they may be. Straying from admiration into idolatry will stunt the growth of your own identity. But you can live your own life while looking up to others.
Richard Branson founded Virgin Records with one store in 1972, and grew that business into a massive fortune that includes a record label, an airline, and now space travel.
- Sorry, all my hero worship slots are full
Simply making money doesn't impress me all that much, but because of the way he did it--with such spectacular courage and integrity--he's become another one of my heroes.
Noam Chomsky is a third member of my eclectic group of men and women who I look up to. He is the most credible debater I've ever come across. His arguments are reasoned, rational, and steeped in a fierce humanitarianism. I admire that. Not to mention, the man is a walking encyclopedia of current events.
Integrity, courage, humanitarianism: these values were important in my life before my heroes. But my heroes have helped me better understand why that is.
Aspiring to be more like your heroes is an excellent opportunity for growth. So act like your heroes.
You’ve gotta dream
I love my life, but I'm working to create one that's even greater. I'm doing it for me. I want to know what I'm capable of.
Dreaming is my first step in getting there. It's damn near impossible to create something you can't imagine.
"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." - Ernest Hemingway
The sweet spot
I dream about finding work that feels like play; a calling that makes me lose track of time, and forget to eat. Ideally I'm great at whatever this is, and I get paid like a rockstar. I'll keep following this dream, but won't agonize because I don't have it figured out just yet. In the meantime I'll keep learning while doing what I enjoy most.
I imagine meeting every challenge with courage--facing my worst fears, even welcoming them in. I will always try to act with integrity. I will not cheat, steal, or lie. I will stand up for what I believe is right, especially when it's difficult.
I will try to love everyone unconditionally because that's how you create a better world. When I meet others struggling with arrogance, hatred, and indifference, I will remember that those negative emotions are also opportunities for growth--theirs and mine.
I'm going to laugh more because life can be comical if you let it. It's incredible, and beautiful, and terrible. We have such a short time to experience it all, why not try to appreciate even the 'bad' parts?
I will work hard to publish a book, and to launch a business. I will play guitar in a band, and get in the best shape of my life. I will spend my winters somewhere warm.
My dreams are now in print for the world to see.
What are you dreaming about?
Give Yourself a Break
Being awesome is hard work.
I don't pretend to speak from experience, but I do watch people closely. Nothing good comes easy, except to lottery winners and that one jerk at the office. Exceptional humans work hard.
Better than a six pack
You want a six pack? Be willing to spend six hours a week at the gym for months and to give up your Baconators™. Want to make a million dollars? Goodbye Saturday night benders.
You already know this, so let's move on.
Great people do something else: they give themselves a break. If they miss a guitar practice session, or fail to study for 10 hours like they promised, they don't punish themselves (much.)
I know many highly motivated people--brimming with potential--who torment themselves because they aren't financially independent at 30. That torment is not helpful. Piling on stress and self-doubt because you fell short of your goal is devastating to your motivation.
The successful fail all the time. They understand that failure is just a learning tool, and not a reflection on their being. When they fail, they don't waste time with guilt or sorrow.
They DO comb the wreckage for valuable lessons, then tweak their behaviour. Sometimes, they even laugh it off.
So how can we laugh it off, instead of whipping ourselves for our imperfections?
We 'aint found shit
1) Consciously relax before you start a project. You'll have fun from the beginning, instead of stressed until you achieve the 'perfect outcome.'
2) Be grateful. It's a popular tip lately, but it works. When you are thankful, you'll realize that YOU are creating at least some of the good in your life, and your perceived shortcomings will matter less.
3) Spend less time thinking about the future. Living in the past can lead to depression, the same way that living in the future can lead to anxiety. Let go of the outcome, and enjoy the journey.
Being awesome is compatible with being good to yourself. So be good.
Go With Your Gut
Malcolm Gladwell drew me into his recent besteller about intuition, Blink, by opening with a story of art forgery. In 1983, he wrote, a man approached the Getty Museum with a marble statue dating from the sixth century BC, a piece he was willing to part with for $10 million.
What a phony!
Naturally the museum did its homework, and recruited a renowned geologist to scrutinize the statue with electron microscopes and X-rays. Everything, including the paperwork, seemed to check out. The excitement at the Getty, however, faded quickly.
One by one, experts of Greek sculpture cried, 'fake.' Nervous museum lawyers began to dig deeper, and slowly uncovered evidence of a skillful forgery. The investigation was inconclusive despite the experts' unanimity: the Getty bought a fake.
In almost every case, the observers made up their minds seconds after laying eyes on the piece. Their reason for doubt? "Intuitive Repulsion." The naked Greek looked too... 'fresh'. Gladwell argues that everyone is born with this 'sixth sense:' the ability to 'know' something without rational thinking.
Intuition (is) perception via the unconscious
- Carl Jung
I'm inspired by the idea that our capacity for decision making--and for understanding the world around us--is much larger than we're often told. Do we each possess an enormous, untapped potential?
- Intuition... not just for crackpots anymore
In a world more comfortable with logic and the scientific method, the idea of "going with your gut" suffers a minor image problem. Blink has been thoroughly criticized.
Intuition is often portrayed as mysterious and mystical--the domain of prophets and crackpots. But neuroscience has repeatedly challenged that view, and those who swear by intuition can now cite scientific evidence. I'll let you intuit my stance.
Whatever your position, you probably know what intuition feels like. You may have said, "Something is wrong," or, "it just felt right, joining the circus." It may have helped you to nix a toxic friendship, or to make a smart financial move.
Successful entrepreneurs often cite intuition as their most powerful tool.
Many know that some of the best decisions they make are the deals they pass on. After traveling across India, Steve Jobs remarked that, “The main thing I’ve learned is intuition."
- This is actually Steve's meditation pose
Why does intuition make good leaders? In part, because they use it to make good decisions quickly. They know what needs to be done without a paralyzing study or long scientific analysis.
If, like me, you weren't born with strong intuition, you probably want to know if it can be nurtured. Studies says, yes, probably. Past knowledge and experience boosts intuition. A Greek art expert can intuitively spot a fake only because she's looked at more than a few statues. It follows that intuition can grow over time. But how?
With all skills, practice helps. Our intuition is strongest when our minds are free of clutter and we're relaxed. Meditation, day dreaming, walking, music; all of these help us hear that inner voice. Practice mental de-cluttering. And trust your intuition. It may not always be right, but often is, and it will develop over time.
As it does, you'll gain a skill that will help you get more out of this beautiful life.
The Momentum Principle
"An object in motion stays in motion" - Sir Isaac Newton (paraphrased... badly)
The other day I had a welcomed realization: this has been a strangely productive week. Monday through Friday I made it to the gym, wrote thousands of words, made some great connections; even squeezed in a few guitar practice sessions. If only I could make this a habit.
Let's just ignore friction for now.
Well, why couldn't I? From whence comes such efficiency? Good sleep? Hard work? Luck?
I'm sure it was a combination of things, but I give most of the credit to the momentum principle: I got myself moving Monday morning, and never stopped.
Like a ship or a train, once something's in motion, it's easier to keep going. Effective humans seem always to be moving. For them, one success leads to another.
"What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step." - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
The opposite is also true. If I step out of my positive routine even for a few days, I have a very hard time getting back in motion.
Losing momentum is discouraging. My focus fades and I become unsure how to move toward my goals. Sometimes I want to wash my hands of them entirely. But there is a cure: to take a step, even when you don't feel like it.
Baby steps onto the elevator...
Do anything healthy. Go outside, have a walk, call a friend, cook. Then take another step. It's amazing how easily something small can break the spell.
I was in a momentumless rut this morning. But I took a step by going to the gym. It did the trick, and I managed to salvage my day.
Sometimes the only cure for lack of motivation is rest. Rest is important! But there's a difference between relaxing after a hard day, and running out of momentum. You should be able to feel the difference, but if you can't, ask yourself:
"Did I do something that brought me closer to my goals today?" If you can answer yes, you're already generating momentum.
Build on it.
Do the Right Thing?
Do you always do the right thing, even when nobody's looking?
Don't feel bad, I don't either.
But I try really hard to. It's not easy to live up to such a lofty goal, but I've learned that living with integrity will bring you joy.
I have this vivid memory from when I was 7 or 8 of coming home late from the park. My dad was sitting in the bath tub grilling me about where I'd been. I wasn't supposed to be out after dark. I concocted the best lie I could with a 7 year old's brain, but it quickly crumbled under questioning.
"I'll be more upset with you for lying than for anything else you may have done," he said.
Thanks for your honesty, have a beer...
I came clean. It was a powerful experience that stuck with me. For a long time I was honest to a fault. I couldn't even cheat at Monopoly!
Later in life the stakes became higher, and the tests more challenging. In small ways, I sacrificed my principles. I omitted the truth, bent it, ignored it, buried it. I did mental gymnastics to be able to live with myself. It was easier than starting a fight, saying sorry, or hurting someone because I had done something that I regret.
This didn't happen a lot, but those few transgressions were killing me inside. I finally learned my lesson and I'm a lot happier now.
Unless you're a sociopath, you have a conscience; an understanding of morality. When your actions are in conflict with your morals, you will have a constant thorn in your subconscious. If the conflict is large, it may manifest in your external world. You may have trouble sleeping or eating; you may start to hate yourself. But when actions and morals are in sync, you give yourself a great gift: integrity.
Integrity means "to be whole." Integrity is being true to your ideals and principles even when that's difficult, even in the face of reprisal. Even when nobody is looking. Honesty is just one facet of integrity.
Would you rather be whole, or a fraction of a human being?
Keep it together, man
"That's naive; the world doesn't work that way; you'll get fired!" I've heard all the doubts. I've HAD those doubts. My resolve is tested often, but when I act with integrity, it feels really good.
Yes, it's easier to be part of the status quo. But just the feeling of being whole is worth any kind of temporary hardship. More tangibly, you're often rewarded for doing the right thing in the long-run. It may lead to a better job or a healthier friendship.
Sometimes it's hard to know what is "the right thing to do." We will all continue to get it wrong at times, but it's your intention that matters. Strive for integrity, and you will find greater happiness.
That's the truth.
Forgive Yourself… Forgive Others
When I was 7, my mom took away my favourite Lego set as a punishment for something. I was always getting in trouble, something I haven't grown out of. In the process, the toy fell to the ground and was smashed to bits. It was the end of the world.
I was so angry that I barricaded the door to my bedroom with clothes and stuffed animals, and went to work hatching a plan to get revenge: to break something of hers.
I woke up the next morning and saw my barricade. I felt silly. My tantrum hadn't solved anything. It was only a stupid toy, and I let go of the anger immediately. Unconsciously, I forgave her.
Kids seem to have a knack for letting go, a talent we lose as we get older. Don't ask me why this is.
Forgiving others
All of us have been wronged in the past, and it will likely happen again. As adults, we have to be mindful of how we respond if we want to avoid becoming bitter old scrooges.
"He who is devoid of the power to forgive, is devoid of the power to love."
- Martin Luther King Jr.
Why forgive? Most obvious are the tangible benefits: lower blood pressure, less anxiety, and less risk of abusing alcohol and drugs.
More importantly anger, resentment, and desire for revenge keeps you stuck in the past. Hanging onto these feelings hurt YOU most. Withholding forgiveness actually gives the person that hurt you power over you. Do you want that? The best revenge, as they say, is living well, and in part that means moving on.
Negative emotions can be used as fuel to grow. The period after a breakup, for example, is an incredible chance to become a better person. Through forgiveness you can find greater peace.
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
- Mahatma Gandhi
Forgive or Relive
Forgiving others is hard! Depending on the offense, and the person that hurt you, it can seem impossible. Forgiveness can't be forced. You can't 'will' yourself to forgive or forget.
What you can do is have the courage to face the pain. Mourning the loss or tending your wounds is a great start.
Recognizing that everyone is basically good at their core can help. I'm convinced nobody hurts others because they're evil, but out of ignorance. This doesn't mean I excuse the behaviour, or even forget about it. I just let it go.
Forgiving Yourself
Many people carry around a lot of guilt. But aside from pointing out when we've done something wrong, guilt is a useless emotion.
Hanging on to guilt prevents us from loving ourselves, which kills our chance at happiness, prevents us from loving others and reaching our potential, and keeps us stressed.
"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."
- Paul Boese
Consider forgiving yourself. You're not perfect, and no matter how much you strive for excellence, you never will be. Mistakes are inevitable. Learn from them, then let go and move on.
Your future self will thank you.
Speed Reading 101
A girl opens a book, glances at each page for about 0.8 seconds, then flips to the next. Repeat. For much of my life TV had me believing this was speed reading.
TV also taught me that one man with a machine gun can take on an entire army, and that supermodels regularly approach nerdy guys for sex.
Coffee helps too
Hollywood's ideas about speed reading haven't evolved much. Screen writers know more about how computers work (Let's enhance that image!) than our topic of conversation.
I knew that the picture of a person madly flipping pages was probably exaggerated, but guessed that there must be some value in speed reading.
By the middle of my second year at university, I was buried under a mountain of books, so I went to my local library and picked up a dusty copy of a speed reading manual. The results were amazing.
In only a month I tripled my reading speed.
How does speed reading actually work? I won't be able to train you in 600 words or less, but I'll give you the Coles Notes in hopes that you'll be curious enough to investigate further.
Speed reading is:
- Creating good habits to focus on the information
- Taking in information quicker
- Retaining more of that information
1. Good Habits:
Quick reading requires your full attention and active participation. This is half the battle.
- Sit up straight with your feet on the floor, book on a desk centred in front of you; turn pages with your left hand, underline what you're reading with the right index finger.
- Centre yourself. Take a few deep breaths. Tighten your muscles then relax. Focus.
- "Key in" to your material: "Handle" the book. Flip through it's pages, read the table of contents, back and front flaps. Ask yourself, "What am I going to do with this information?"
2. Absorb information faster:
Reading faster is primarily about training your eyes and brain to process information differently.
Re-read the last sentence. Did you hear your own voice in your mind reciting the words?
Thanks a lot, Hollywood
- Stop doing this. That voice is the middle-man between your eyes and brain. It just slows you down.
- Use your finger to underline everything. It will keep your eyes from wandering.
- Harness your peripheral vision. Take the blinders off your eyes. This is tough, but try to pull the words off the page in chunks, rather than one or two at a time. With only a little practice, your brain will get better and faster at doing this.
3. Retain more of what you read:
- Trust your perfect memory. Have confidence in your ability to remember.
- Aim to grasp the subject or theme and decide how you want to use the information
- Do something active with the material: talking to someone about it is the best way to memorize; writing is second best. Thinking about it after is better than nothing.
I don't always apply these principles when I read. It's nice to take your time with a good book. But speed reading is a valuable skill that could save you hours for more worthy pursuits...
Like supermodels.